These Warning Signs Are Just Making Us Worry More
Warning signs are supposed to keep people from doing dangerous or illegal things, but the warning signs on this list are just a little bit off. There might be something wrong with them or the might just look a little strange.
Clearly, not all signs are created equal. Some of these signs contain strange wording, weird drawings, or maybe they're just placed in an odd location. Keep reading to see the best and the worst funny warning signs in America.
This Doesn't Make Us Feel Any Better
Look, if you need a sign outside a house that says "not haunted," I'm going to go out on a limb and say that that house is probably haunted. "Not haunted" sounds exactly like something a ghost would say. We're not falling for it this time.
We're sure this house is probably a great price, and the lot looks lovely, but unless you want to wake up next to a whole family of spooks, we suggest you look elsewhere.
The Funniest Way To Drown
So, it looks like this sign says, "drowning lol" but in reality, that's supposed to be a picture of somebody drowning with their arms in the air. The lines that are supposed to be arms look like L's and the head is the circle in the middle that looks like an O.
Still, this sign could have been designed better. You don't want people to think that drowning is a laughing matter. At least it says "call 911."
Is That Even Physically Possible?
So you're telling me that we're not allowed to urinate into the toilet backward by sending a stream over our heads? Aww man... Well, if this is something you do when you're alone in the bathroom, you're just going to have to find another (more normal) way to pee.
In all seriousness, we're extremely concerned that this is an actual sign that exists. We have so many questions. Who made this sign? And why did this business find it necessary?
Cars Should Just Drive Off The Bridge
Bikes are good for the environment. They don't polute the air or require gasoline. That's why bikes are allowed on the bridge. Cars, on the other hand, are very destructive to our atmosphere. They should just drive right of the bridge and drown.
Ok, that's probably not what the sign meant. Plus, we don't want a whole bunch of drowned cars polluting the ocean. This is probably just a case of some weird sign placement.
You Wouldn't Want To Make The Animals Sick
This is a lesson most of us slept through in biology class, but it's important to know the difference between a carnivore, a herbivore, and an omnivore. Also, no matter how cute the seals look, do NOT enter their enclosure and do not lean on the fence.
The people working at the zoo care more about their animals than they do the humans who come to see them. Their brutal honesty is laid out in this sign.
Note To Self: Don't Drive Underwater
Um, did anybody think that it was safe to drive (or even walk) on an underwater road? We're still trying to make sense of this warning sign. What could it possibly mean? Maybe it just means that the road is slippery when wet? But if that's the case why wouldn't it just say that? It's a real mystery.
If you ever do see an underwater road, though, just stay as far away from it as possible.
Or Just Use The Elevator
Oh, dear. I'm not even sure what might have been going through this sign designer's mind when they were putting this one together. They obviously wanted to convey that there's some type of hazardous situation coming up, but why did they include a graphic of a wheelchair traveling up a flight of stairs?
Seriously, what part of "watch your STEP" inspired the inclusion of a wheelchair? Also, it doesn't look like there are any stairs ahead in this photo. So this whole sign is a big old fail.
So Don't Jump...
What's really worrying is that there must have been a reason why they had to put that sign up in the first place. Like, somebody must have wandered over to that balcony thinking that they could just walk right off it and be on the ground. They would be on the ground, but only after falling a whole bunch of feet down and probably breaking a few bones.
Maybe they just didn't want to take the stairs.
We Didn't Think They Were...
You know what this sign means, right? It means that people have been putting banana peels in the recycling bin. What about paper, tin, or plastic do people not understand? This is a warning sign for everyone who doesn't recycle properly! Banana peels shouldn't go in the garbage, though. It's actually organic waste that can go straight into the compost.
This sign may be a little passive aggressive, but at least it gets the point across.
Maybe Don't Use This Toilet
Isn't "toilette" like a fancy word for bathroom? I know it definitely means bathroom in French, but the other sign is in English. So I'm going out on a limb and suggesting that using the word "toilette" is meant to indicate that this is indeed a super-fancy loo.
So fancy, in fact, that it comes with a bunch of bees. The situation is apparently bad enough that it required a "beware of the bees" sign that's larger than the "toilette" sign. Those must be some mean bees.
If You Can Help It
If you can breathe underwater, then you probably have superpowers and a little thing like a warning sign isn't going to stop you from using them. All humans can exhale into the water, but you can't really breathe in water unless you have gills instead of lungs.
Maybe this sign is warning people that they won't be able to breathe underwater even if they try really hard? You know, because they're human beings and not fish?
Just In Case You Were Thinking About It
Ok, whoever is washing clothes in the toilet, you need to stop that right now. The toilet is not very clean and it's not doing your clothes any favors. Just wash the clothes in the sink if you find yourself in an emergency clothes-washing situation.
Whoever is washing hair in the toilet, please exit the building and walk to your nearest hospital because there is something seriously wrong with you. Let's just hope that the word "toilet" actually just means "washroom" in this scenario.
Flies Can't Read, Though
Unfortunately, humans don't always listen to the rules. Thanks to their lack of judgment, these signs are out and about because people do as they please. They don't care about the consequences until they're caught. Yeah, maybe you should have thought about not touching the fly traps!
We have to give this plant nursery credit for creating a warning sign that's informative yet still positive and light-hearted. Chances are, lots of people don't realize touching the fly traps is bad for them!
What Kind Of Pool Is This?
The sandals rule makes a little bit of sense. You don't want people trodding on a pool deck with expensive sneakers or dirty boots. We're not so sure about that no pants rule, though. Both in British and American English, this sign just makes zero sense.
Also, how strictly do they enforce the sandal rule? Are Birkenstocks OK? Flip flops? Do you go to jail for wearing shoes with laces? Or maybe you just get kicked out of the pool...
Yeah, You Should Probably Remove The Child First
OK, this one is obviously not a true sign, but it's still a cautionary message worthy of including on this list. This is a garment label with size info and washing instructions. Pretty standard stuff... Size 3-4 Y, made of polyester. Wash in 40-degree water, don't iron or machine dry. Got it.
But wait, what's this other line? "Remove child?" Crap, I hadn't thought of that. I'm so, so thankful that I read the tag before tossing Johnny's Superman pajamas in the wash with him still wearing them...not sure how I would have explained this one to his mom.
Don't Feed Your Kids To The Gators
Talk about a disaster that's waiting to happen. Great, once someone like Steven Spielberg sees this warning sign, he's going to make a new movie. It'll likely be about alligators, and it will be similar to what he did with dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. On that thought, we'd totally see that movie.
In all seriousness though, whoever designed this warning sign might want to brush up on their graphic design skills...because it totally looks like this dad is willingly feeding his daughter to an alligator. Oops.
Be Kind, Aim Carefully
Sometimes men can be real jerks! This sign is not asking for anything too insane or illogical. In fact, it's something that they should have known how to do for the greater part of their lives. The establishment just wants bathroom goers to be a little nicer. The play on words is great too!
Hopefully, this attention-grabbing sign gets the job done. That is, unless the person reading it becomes too distracted while... well, you know the rest.
Are Those Jazz Hands?
There are two possibilities for this amazing sign. Either that is an accurate interpretation of what people look like when they slip on a wet surface or people that walk on this particular surface feel compelled to throw out some jazz hands.
Honestly, I'd be okay with slipping if jazz hands were my fate. I might even welcome it! It looks pretty fabulous and there are worse things in life than a case of jazz hands.
Homer Simpson's Stop Sign
Everyone knows what the red hexagonal sign above is the universal signal for, "stop." Whoever made this particular sign has a sense of humor about it. If only every stop sign was branded with the word "dur."
Of course, maybe we need this sign because fewer people would roll through them if they were made to feel bad about themselves first. If you don't stop at the 'dur' sign we don't really know how to help you. It's just too late.
If You Can't Keep Up, Get Out Of The Fast Lane
Honestly, is there anything worse than slow drivers who clog up the left lane? What about those who stay in the left lane despite all of the cars passing them?! This is a serious epidemic that apparently, only the mountain people can cure with pure sass. If you're driving in the fast lane, looking for that next exit going five under the speed limit on the highway, you're going to make enemies.
No one likes being stuck behind someone who's in the wrong lane and this town isn't afraid to tell you like it is. Next week it might read "take a hike!"
You Will Get Hit, Though
This sign is the littlest bit funny. Obviously, a pedestrian getting hit by a car is no laughing matter, but this graphic is pretty silly. Unfortunately, it's the brutally honest truth of living in a big city where drivers are nuts and people are commuting on foot or by bike everywhere.
It seems like drivers don't even try to avoid you these days, so you better watch out for yourself!
Does This Mean Zombies?
The first question you should ask yourself when walking through a wooded area is "exactly how many hands are going to be reaching out at me as I run by?" This sign is just about as creepy as it gets.
Does it mean that there are people hiding in the bush who are prone to grabbing other people who walk the path? This sketchy little drawing leads us to believe it!
It's Only Fair
Don't feed the cats! This warning has never been more clear with the punishment being promised by this sign! I don't even want to imagine what it means. Here's to hoping it was just a typo.
Perhaps it meant to say, "violators will be escorted from the property." That sounds a little more family-friendly, at least. Right now it sounds like violators will be violated, and that's a pretty extreme punishment for feeding some cats.
A Very New England Sign
Signs like this aren't too hard to understand... for some people that is. It's a pet peeve for many drivers who deal with this. How hard is it to use a blinker that's right beside your steering wheel? Things like that make you wonder how people passed drivers ed.
With all the motorcycles on the road, it's important to signal when you switch lanes. Whoever programmed this highway sign knows what's up, and they got jokes, too.
Keep Your Eyes On The Road
How hard is it to NOT text and drive? Clearly, it's pretty bad these days, especially with a sign that has to use a pun to get its point across. It might be cheesy but it's just a friendly reminder to put the phone down when you're behind the wheel.
That text to anyone can wait until once you get out of the driver's side. We like that this sign chooses comedy over threatening a fine for being on your phone. Better listen.
Tall Cars, Beware
Have you ever seen this happen before? It's more destructive than you could imagine. Once insurance finds out what they did, they won't be enjoying all the paperwork that comes with it. Hopefully, that sign breaks away fairly easy so that the truck driver doesn't do too much damage.
They do prove a good point though, and that is knowing the height of your truck! Clearly, it's happened before and they don't want someone taking out their town's bridge again.
True, But It's Not Really A Diet Tip
This sign solved the simple problem of what a person can do when faced with hunger pains. Apparently, there is no greater way to suppress your appetite than with a big juicy burger.
It's hard to deny the logic too. Eating when hungry is just common sense. Everyone should do it! It's pretty funny to pass it off as a dieting tip though. See honey? I'm allowed to eat this burger on my diet.
What Starbucks Was Meant For
Alright, alright, this isn't exactly a warning sign (in the traditional sense), but some people may consider it good advice to avoid any person exhibiting this type of behavior!
In all seriousness, the sign says a lot about our society by poking a little fun at us all. Maybe, just maybe, it's a warning sign for us to put down our phones a little more often. Reverse psychology, right?!
Maybe Just Don't Litter
This sign is RIGHT in so many ways! There is absolutely reason anyone should be littering, but if you can answer any question with any of these 3 (or I guess 4) answers, I don't think we can be friends. I already have enough jerks in my life.
It's better to just get the straightforward answer than beat around the bush. If you're a litterbug, this sign just got the best of you.
Learn From Their Mistakes
If you're looking for that perfect Father's Day gift to show your dad that yes, you did, in fact, hang on to every word of fatherly wisdom that he bestowed upon you, this is that gift.
I can already see him tear up in disappointment as yet another piece of handiwork gets thrown into the fire for warmth. Maybe this sign isn't about measuring twice. Maybe it's actually about a thing called "twic."
Did They Mean To Write That?
In some countries, it is considered rude to point with your finger, so this sign isn't really a "fail." In this situation, it is entirely appropriate to approach the counter with both hands in your pockets (or hidden inside your sleeves) with tongue extended and lick the glass near the general area of the bagel you want.
For the tongueless, simply place a folded tissue in your mouth as a replacement. The real fail with this sign is the use of "U" instead of the word "you."
Leave The Pole Dancing Routine At Home
Hey, you. Yeah, YOU! The one doing a pole dance routine in the middle of the gnarly Q line during rush hour. Quit it. These poles are not for dancing, they're for safety. Plus, the train is "no place for showtime."
I'm honestly wondering how many people do this. It must be a lot since the Transit Authority had to put signs up discouraging people from doing strip teases on the subway. I bet a majority of the riders actually liked watching people practicing their moves. It sure beats staring at that weird guy who's picking his nose.
Do They Mean Turn Off Your Flash?
The octopus is a sensitive, shy being and so the aquarium staff is kindly asking that you respect its space and not freak it out. Maybe this particular eight-armed guy is an introvert, and isn't trying to make any new friends.
Alright, alright. What they probably intended for this sign to tell you is: please turn your camera flash off if you're going to take a picture. That's all, folks.
Poor Penguins...
OK, we get it that there's no octopus-flashing allowed, but this is just too much. This national park has the audacity to ask its guests to look under their cars to be sure they're not about to turn a bunch of penguins into roadkill.
I'm certainly not going to be visiting Table Mountain National Park at any time in the future. I just can't abide by those kinds of strict rules. I need to live life on my own terms.
Everything Will Be Fine
Photo credit: Pinterest
This sign is a blessing for all you worry-warts who are overly concerned about parking tickets. Here's a lot you're encouraged to park in, scot-free. Even if you're parked illegally.
You see, it says "illegally parked cars will be fine." That all-important "D" at the end of the sentence would have made all the difference in the world. I wonder if a photo of this sign would hold up in court if you did end up getting ticketed. I think it should.
Dead People Don't Really Care Abou Fines
This classic warning sign comes to us credit of the Newcastle Tramway Authority. The bright yellow with red text and skull/crossbones icons mean that this sign is not one to be ignored. The message? "Touching wires causes instant death." Yikes! I'm not touching those wires.
But right under that, it says "$200 fine." I'd like to know how on earth they plan on fining someone who has just been electrocuted to death. Well, I guess funeral homes have already been doing that for years... badda bing!
Empty Your Dog Somewhere Else
It's a proven fact: When dogs get full, they need to be emptied. The trick is finding a good place that all parties involved (the pet owner, the dog, and the city) agree is appropriate for the contents that the pet contains. A better sign might read "Please DO empty your dog HERE."
Then we would all know where to go. Maybe it could become a destination for singles to meet each other. "We were both emptying our dogs, you know the spot, and we knew it was meant to be."
What Even Is A Humped Zebra?
This is good news for humped zebras, but what about non-humped zebras? And who will enforce this? Imagine the non-humped zebra hanging out with all of his humped friends, and they are all like, "let's cross the street and check out that barbed-wire fence!"
And the non-humped zebra laughs nervously. "C'mon guys, that fence looks totally lame, let's go back to my house and play Nintendo." Give a non-humped zebra a break.
Unless You're Spiderman
We've all seen people loitering outside convenience stores or on random street corners. Usually up to no good, if we're to believe all the signs warning that loiterers will be fined or arrested.
Have you ever seen a loiterer standing on a wall? That would take some serious adhesives or Spider Man power. Obviously they mean don't LEAN on the wall but they could have put a little more thought into the wording on this one.
Don't Ever Do This
Out of all the signs we've looked at today, this one just might be the most legit. After all, if you were a red triangle-shaped person wouldn't you want to know if you were in a restroom where blue stick-shaped people tended to peek over the divider and watch you do your business?
Where is this bathroom where peeping toms are so common? And is the word "karma" at the top of the sign a warning to anyone who is planning on trying to sneak a peek? 'Cuz that can't be good for karma.
