These People Take “You Had One Job” To Outrageous New Levels

Some people are just not meant to do certain jobs. If you’re like many people, you’ve worked certain tasks that were a means to an end. You likely even put your mind on cruise control the second you walked in and turned it off your brain’s auto pilot when you walked out. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that half-hearted efforts often lead to unfortunate results in the workplace.

Sometimes, you have one job that you’re assigned to complete and despite your best efforts you promptly fail miserably. If you’re lucky, the failure will go unnoticed. Unfortunately for these fine folks, their “you had one job to do” fail didn’t have a chance to slip under the corporate radar.

You’re Not Lion

This is taking “we’re not fake news” to a whole new level. It’s pretty obvious to the average person that a lion’s brother would also be a lion. It’s hard to avoid laughing after reading this oddly placed reference until we keep on reading a little further and find out that Cecil’s brother, Jericho” was killed in Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park. At least we know CNN is not attempting to claim that Jericho is a cheetah, a bear, or an ISIS terrorist. Sure this was probably on oversight but we prefer to believe it’s a major news network attempting to cover all of its truthful bases.

A Clump Is Fine

This is hands down my biggest pet peeve. I didn’t ask for a bagel with a cream cheese clump, so why did you do it? I’ve begun asking for a bagel with evenly distributed cream cheese just in case the person was feeling clumpy that day. It’s also like when you order nachos and the cheese is ONLY present on the top 9 chips and then the next 100 you have to eat completely plain. Some kitchen people forget that the cheese plays a significant role in keeping the veggies and meat attached to the chip. Do. Your. Job.

That’s Just Rood

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume this sign was meant to warn traffic about the potential for flooding on the road. I actually think the way they have it now is much more effective and lighthearted. There has not been one flood in the history of the world that wasn’t rood (rude). Whether it’s a heavy rainfall that floods a basement, or any other natural disaster that causes mass flooding of an area — they’re all rood. In the millions of years that planet earth has been around, has a flood ever called to say its coming? Heck, what about a text? Does anyone have a missed facetime? No, never.

Going To Be A Weird Night

This is why I love mom N pop movie theatres. They always keep things interesting with unique events. They might have mixed up the movie titles Suicide Squad and Sausage Party, but the new events they created seem like fun… or not. These are drastically different vibes and we can only wildly guess what the Sausage Squad is doing at 9:20 pm. Studies show that eating after dinner or late at night can be really bad for your health. The calories in the sausages that this squad would be consuming would more than likely be stored as fat and they probably wouldn’t get any energy benefit. That’s your health lesson of the day.

It’s A Bit Tac-y

We’ve seen this type of marketing before in movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Although this was obviously on accident, I think that Tic Tac should actually pursue this marketing idea and have a ‘find the golden tac’ contest. I can already picture the Tic-Tac factory now with a bunch of minty fresh Oompa Loompas running around singing songs to factory visitors. Also, does a golden tic tac taste like the flavor of the minty fresh candy located inside the box or is this a mystery flavor with no true taste origin. Plus we could totally spot the golden tic tac through the plastic case… this wasn’t a well thought out idea on my part.

Well, We Covered His “Main” Face

I don’t know the context of this photo, but let’s hope his anonymity is a preference and not a necessity. This guy looks like he’s seen some things that most people would never have to see. His fanny pack says “I’m practical” but his vest says “I’m really not practical at all” which gives conflicting messages about who he really is as a person. Is he a spy? What’s in the fanny that was so important to bring to this photo shoot that blurred his face? These are questions that will keep me up at night.

That’s Not What Anonymous Means

This journalist forgot what the word “anonymous” means. Tom wanted his name left out of the article but the inept writer and editor failed to fulfill his wishes. The fact that the sentence begins with the man’s name and then immediately mentions he wanted to remain anonymous, pretty much sums up the definition of ineptitude. Journalists generally go to great lengths in protecting their source’s identity, sometimes landing in jail after failing to give up a source’s name in court. The source-journalist relationship is very important for democracy so this mistake could have been a costly one. By the looks of it, this story is fairly lighthearted but this type of mistake should never happen.

Harder Than Sophie’s Choice

FINALLY, after what we assume was some long deliberation, amphibious cars have their own lane. Bikers have their own lane, so I’m not sure why it took so long for cars who prefer water to have their own spot to travel as well. In all seriousness, who thought that putting the sign there made any sense at all? The person who put up this oddly placed road warning would have had to be literally hanging over the railing to set it just right for this picture. Come to think of it, this might just be an environmentalist’s smart idea to get cars off the road and ultimately reduce carbon emissions. Smart.

Don’t Touch Me

Here’s a scenario right out of the movie Saw. You walk into the only washroom of a bar and see this ridiculous soap dispenser placement – do you shake anyone’s hand the rest of the night? My answer? No. In fact, I’m immediately sprinting to a full bottle of vodka and dowsing my hands in it so that it disinfects as quickly as possible. Then, I’m finding bubble wrap and fully covering my hands so that even accidental contact with another bar-goer is safe from the infectious bathroom germs. After those steps have been taken, I can enjoy my night. I’m a little bit weird.

The disclaimer on the CD that’s coming up is pretty confusing but definitely hilarious.

Citrus Is Citrus

I thought everyone knew of the phrase “when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade”… that was until I saw this sign. When life gives you lemons you DO NOT make orange juice. No one has ever said that. Lemons are not perfect for orange juice because that would be called lemonade which is much higher in acidic properties and sour tasting results. These two fruits both make delicious tasting beverages for a breakfast, lunch, dinner, and anytime in between, but they are definitely NOT the same thing. Also, if life gives you oranges can you make lemonade based on this signs message?

Talk About Pee(r) Pressure

The people who designed the layout for this bathroom deserve some sort of raise. If you’re going to use the urinal, you better believe you’re on the clock because the person in that stall is coming out doors-a-swingin and you’re about to get knocked right into your own urinal of urine. This eliminates the “loitering whizzer” who just stands at the urinal for an abnormally long time and stares at the wall awkwardly. This also might explain why the men’s room empties faster than the women’s. We still think women have it worse because we hate long lines but this is really bad planning.

Apply Sunscreen

So, what I’m gathering from this is that the disc can’t be exposed to indirect sunlight, but can be exposed to direct sunlight, which is just a bit confusing. Don’t you dare bring this CD outside and put it under a tree with leaves that will block out some of the sunlight, or under a thin canopy which will weaken any UV contact. My guess is that this is more of a preference for the disc which, like people who are addicted to tanning beds, only wants to be exposed to direct sunlight because it boosts the vitamin D levels… right?

All Of A Sudden I’m Bilingual

Who knew Spanish was so easy? All you have to do is put the words “Spanish Translation” at the front of every sentence and it reads just like English. To think, I wasted all that time and money on Rosetta Stone when I didn’t need to. This new dialect of Spanish is going to kill the careers of Pitbull and Enrique Iglesias, who made their careers meshing Spanish into English songs. You’re meaning to tell me that there is a version of Despacito out there that I can actually understand? This is what dreams are made of. Now please excuse me while I do the same thing for Italian, Greek, and German.

This is Blasphemy

One of the best parts about eating an Oreo is cracking it open and scrapping off the creamy center with our teeth or tongue. Someone at the cookie factory (are they a cookie or a wafer or something else?) needs to be held accountable for this unforgivable mistake! On the other hand, Oreo has been testing a ton of new seasonal flavors and colors lately, maybe this was just one of those tests in the wild campaigns that tech companies typically use to see if a new product can gain mass appeal. In our opinion they can just ditch the creamy center and sell us the wafers en masse.

Making Up Colors As We Go

If you look up the definition of “bule” you’ll find that it’s an Indonesian word that refers to someone with European descent. So printing it on a pencil crayon doesn’t necessarily make sense, but to each his own. Obviously, this was just a typo, but my question is, how many kids now think the correct spelling of “blue” is “bule”? Say there were 100,000 pencils put into stores with this spelling. That’s 100,000 impressionable kids who could turn bad grammar into an even bigger epidemic than it already is at the moment.

Confused How I Should Take This

At first glance, if you read the signs separately, you probably feel empowered, uplifted, and ready to take on the day. If you first read the signs across from left to right, you probably felt the exact opposite of the intended messaging. “You don’t matter, give up” is my exact thoughts when I pretend I like to jog and get around the first corner of my neighborhood only to realize I actually hate it. Some days you could use that pick me up, but this isn’t one of those days. Remember, how you do things can completely change the context, for better or worse.

Not The Ad He Was Going For

This is your classic attorney advertisement on a city bus gone really wrong. They obviously didn’t take into consideration that the windows will move and turn this otherwise normal looking gentleman into something out of Animal Planet. This guy transformed from everyone’s friend’s dad to the forgotten brother from Alvin And The Chipmunks. On the plus side, his hair is totally on point, which is really what makes a good real estate agent, isn’t it? I’m actually asking, I don’t own a house. On a positive note, this is definitely a piece of advertising that generates a lot of discussion.

That’s Not How Giraffes Work

When you picture a giraffe, what’s the first feature you think about? The NECK. I have never seen a giraffe with no neck and insanely lanky legs. Maybe this is an alternate universe giraffe? This special animal looks like a combination of a horse with disproportionate limbs and weird brown spotting. The makers of this stuffed animal had one job and failed miserably. Perhaps the makers of this weird looking giraffe type animal are former employees of a genetics lab and they just wanted to prove that anything is possible with science.

Oh, The Irony

This picture is engulfed in irony and it’s hilarious. If you’re going to advertise fasteners, the least you could do is have the sign fastened properly to the ceiling. This is like saying your company can fix anything but your business’ doorbell doesn’t work. It’s like owning a landscaping company but your home’s front lawn looks like a garbage dump. It’s a fairly simple expectation to have every sign fastened tightly if your store sells the fasteners in the first place. It hopefully only took minutes to fix this mistakes because THE SUPPLIES ARE RIGHT THERE!

No, No It Isn’t

We don’t want to become complete grammar snobs over this size but “stressed” spelled backwards is actually “desserts.” They should really change this sign because more than one delicious snack after dinner sounds better than a single helping of one dessert. As it stands right now “Tressed” spelled backwards is “dessert” and we have no idea what “tressed” is. In any case, we don’t want a side of dessert with our stress, we just want to fix whatever is bothering us. If overeating desserts is your stress point, this piece of advertising is probably not going to help you in any way.