Oregonians Are Freaking Out Now That They Can Pump Their Own Gas, And We’re All Confused

Oh, Oregon. The state just introduced a new law that will allow motorists to pump their own gas in half of their 36 counties. Oregon and New Jersey are the only states that don’t allow people to pump their own gas. So naturally, KTVL took a quick internet poll to see how the people would react to pumping their own gas… and it didn’t go well.

A local news station asked their readers what they thought of the new law and there are some absolute gems among the thousands of comments. For people who’ve lived in Oregon their whole lives and never pumped their own gas before, it’s apparently life-changing, and not for the good.

It’s About The Jobs…

One of the main reasons that the two states have made it mandatory to have full-serve gas stations is because it keeps the jobs. This is the only relevant argument against the law, but when you follow it up with complaining about the “hazards” of pumping gas, it becomes silly.

It’s A Very Serious Issue

If there’s anything we’ve learned over the years, it’s that people are very protective of their jobs. Now, to be fair, it seems like far too many of us seem to be above gas pumping, but most of the time, finding work is a simple matter of supply and demand. Clearly, there’s a demand in Oregon that needs to be filled ASAP.

Ah, The Health Effects…

I feel like people who have never pumped their own gas before are thinking it’s like going into a coal mine for three years before returning to their car. If doing this was as much of a Hunger Games act as people are making it seem, there would be a reality show based on it in New Jersey instead of the one we’ve come to know previously.

Expertise Is Needed

Again, WHAT expertise is needed to pump gas? It’s pretty simple and straightforward. Texas is looking at this fiasco right now and thinking “holy, it’s refreshing to see another state take the spotlight of stupidity for once.” There are so many questions that this guy’s brother needs to answer, but we just don’t have the time.

It’s A Group Effort

OK, so Chris thought he was making a pretty solid point, but then Cathy just fired back with some straight facts. I’ll be honest, there probably should be a few gas stations that properly cater to people with disabilities or the elderly, but we never did take those darn transients seriously.

A Story As Old As Time

I feel this is the pitch to an Oscar-worthy picture right here. Oregon, your fears are real, and this guy has the tale to prove it. Think about it, Kyle literally died because his dad thought he could just go and ‘pump his own gas.’ Let this be a lesson to us all not to mess around in Oregon.

The Struggle Was Real

Chase clearly had a rough upbringing. He took the chance to shed light on the horrors continuous gas-pumping has had on his body. As everyone preached about the health defects gas pumping has caused, Chase gave us a very real picture of just how dangerous it can be. How didn’t we know?!

You Never Forget Your First

This was a roller coaster from start to finish. You can tell that this whole ‘pumping your own gas thing’ is affecting the younger generation because they referenced Tomb Raider instead of Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom. Those darn millennials and their video games.

Has This Ever Happened To You?

The informercial comparison is incredibly on point. Some of my favorites are when you’re reaching for stacks upon stacks of Tupperware, only the trip, pull down every shelf in the pantry, and have each and every piece of Tupperware come crashing on your head. It sold me.

One Masked Hero Emerges

When Oregon called for help, Jim answered. He heard their cries of help and jumped at the chance to help all of those Oregonians who needed some basic life training. Honestly, I could still use help with number 8 though, if Jim wants to give me a hand.

The Odor Will Be Too Much To Handle

Right now I’m picturing the entire state of Oregon picking up the pump looking at it all confused, and then spraying themselves in the face like when you’re waiting for the water hose to turn on. Unless you bathe in the gasoline that’s about to go into your car, I don’t know how this is going to affect your odor.

Hit Em Where It Hurts

Cammy saw her chance and ran with it. Most of the comments seem to come from a bunch of baby boomers who have lived in Oregon for 40 plus years and have never lifted a gas nozzle in their life. So while they’re preaching buying a house and investing in their 401K, at least the rest of us can fill a gas tank.

There’s Always Something To Argue About

If there’s anything to take away from these comments, it’s that people will always find something to argue about. It’s really easy to get all heated up about a topic one day, and then the next just totally flip the script and find a problem with whatever solution arises.

Many Tough Questions Were Asked

With everyone spewing their horror stories, it became tough to tell what was real and what was cast in fiction. I mean, was any of this real? Was Oregon and all of its inhabitants really that afraid to pump their own gas? Who could we trust? The answer was apparently nobody.

It Didn’t Take Long For The Memes To Emerge

You know your public outcry has reached the masses when the memes start to emerge. As you have seen, a lot of people were quick to comment about the absurtity of this whole situation, but when memes start to appear, you know people saw their chance at 15 minutes of internet fame.

You Can Learn A Lot From The Comments

If you’ve ever gone on Facebook (let’s face it, we all have) you know that it’s full of people trying to tell you how to read your kids. They’ll get heated over almost anything and have no problem trying to tell you you’ve been doing everything in your life all wrong.

Pamela Speaks For All Of Us

For all of you making fun or Oregonians, Pamela has a message for you. It’s easy to throw stones and poke fun, but Pamela is proud of her home state and thinks that the rest of us our the problem. We just followed Big Gas and played their games, while Oregon kept it real.

Hopefully, Some Good Comes Out Of This

This could be an absolute game-changer for the electric car industry. Think about it. So many good ideas have come out of fear. This is the perfect way to really kickstart getting more electric cars out on the streets. Unfortunately, I could see many of the same people fearing to plug in their cars on the side of the road on a rainy day.

Couldn’t Have Asked For A Better Way To End The Year

Frankly, we needed this. This has been a year of turmoil as we’ve all been pitted against each other. Sure, based on this article, it seems like we’re picking or Oregon, but it’s all in good fun. Hopefully pumping our own gas is the biggest problem we carry with us through 2018. Here’s hoping!