If Adulting Was A Sports Team, These People Would’ve Been The First Cut
Let’s be honest here; adulting is no fun. It requires an insane amount of responsibility that you were never taught how to deal with growing up. From paying bills to washing your bed sheets to remembering birthdays — it’s all a little bit too much.
In reality, all we want to do is sit around and eat a large pizza to ourselves, drink an excessive amount of “juice” and never have to do laundry again but that’s not realistic. The good news, no matter how imperfectly you’ve transitioned into adulthood, there’s no way you’ve done it as bad as the people in this article. Prepare to feel REALLY good about yourself.
First Of All, Swings Aren’t The Same When You’re Grown
Let’s start with the fact that going to the park isn’t the blissful experience it used to be. First of all, everything you touch at a park is scorching hot. The metal railings and the slides literally give you third-degree burns.
Second of all, getting thrown off the swing and being able to rebound quickly with no pain doesn’t happen anymore — just ask this girl.
Tom Picks The Best Onions
Just as young people have lingo or slang that they use, so do adults. The older you get, the lazier you get and abbreviations become very useful.
If you’ve ever read your parents notes that are addressed to themselves, it’s not English. The grocery list? Good luck ever de-cyphering what they want because it’s not going to happen until you’ve spent time in adulthood.
Meal Prep For The Week Needs To Be On Point
This whole meal preparation for the week thing that people are doing seems like a lot of work.
If you can plan out every meal you have for seven days, you should get a prize for “Life Organization And Put-Togetherness” because that’s intense. The person who did the pizza meal prep gave it shot, but I don’t think it hit the target.
Work Is Exactly What You’d Expect, But Way Worse
Seamlessly transitioning into the workforce isn’t an easy task. It’s long days of (usually) doing something you hate with people who you don’t like. If that sounds like a disaster, it’s because it is.
We’ve lied on our resume about our proficiency in Excel and are confused at every assignment we’re given because of it. Long story short, work sucks.
The Writing Was On The Wall
Can we just quickly talk about how great Mario Kart is? It was the first game where it became completely acceptable to throw your controller through the TV screen.
But who knew that it would parallel life as a young adult so perfectly? If the number of times I spun out of control on a banana was directly correlated with the mental breakdowns that are brought on by adulting it’s spot on.
The Natural Progression Of Adulthood
If looking at this picture doesn’t make your bottom lip quiver uncontrollably, you’re a cold-hearted human.
Who knew that the dinosaurs didn’t become extinct because of a giant meteor, but instead, they were wiped out by the need for more space for medicine? My life is a lie.
Adult Pillow Forts Are Cool, But They’re Just Not The Same
Let me take you back to a simpler time when your biggest worry was how you were going to cooperate with your siblings enough to build a basement pillow fort.
Your biggest worry was if you gave your little sister a concussion from a one-sided pillow fight that had more face shots than a Mike Tyson fight. That one might be too close to home for me.
“You Thirsty, Sweetie?”
When you have a family there comes a whole other set of potential disasters. Having to bring your kids everywhere you go poses a deep threat to your clumsy-ness that beforehand was fairly innocent.
Spilling drinks pre-kids was a nuisance but something that could be easily forgotten. Spilling drinks post-kids means a full cry fest, having to go get them a toy and leaving the event because they now have an “earache.”
This Is Everything You Need To Know About Adulting
Can someone please tell me why everything in life is so expensive? Who was the first person in history to start raising prices on things? I need to have a word with them.
Why are plates and cutlery so expensive? A $200 blender? You already know that everything from steak and chicken, to Starburst and Kit-Kat, are getting blent (preferably together to save electricity costs).
Affording An Actual Car Isn’t In The 10- Year Financial Forecast
Good luck paying all your bills and still being able to afford that dream car you want. The main issue with this lack of wheels is that many of us miss going to the drive-thru.
One question that I have which draws a bit of concern to the design of the, uh, automobile — where are the cupholders? The driver can’t be holding a cup and driving. This flaw needs to be fixed.
Trying To Escape Being An Adult Be Like…
This guy tried to escape adulthood in a way that we all wish we could. He attempted to sneak back into the womb and cuddle up where responsibility and taxes don’t follow.
Unfortunately, he hit a bit of a roadblock and got stuck. He fell victim to the fact that being an adult also means getting a dad bod which doesn’t lend itself well for fitting into tiny crevasses.
Grocery Shopping Becomes A Chore
Grocery shopping as a kid was always a blast because you were basically just picking out “free” snacks.
It was a place where you could be surrounded by all of your favorite foods at once and not have to pay for any of them. The grocery store as an adult is just a reminder that cheese is still really expensive and avocado isn’t even an option to purchase regularly until you’re about 30.
The Worst Kind Of Walk Of Shame
As adults, the phrase “walk of shame” can identify with many regular events that happen. The first is walking home from a one night stand in the same outfit you went to the bar in the previous night.
Another one is when your credit card gets declined at a convenience store when you’re just trying to buy a soda and you have to put that soda back. The last one is when you have no toilet paper left in the bathroom so you have to either get really creative or walk with your pants down to another bathroom.
You Don’t Fit Into Everything Anymore
Remember the Mcdonald’s Play Place and how fun it used to be? Splashing around in the ball pit that seemed as deep as the ocean?
Well, look at that ball pit now, it’s the size of an old iPod Nano and you don’t even come close to fitting into it. Trust me. No really, trust me, I tried it and I looked like Godzilla compared to everyone else.
You Have To Start Getting Financially Creative In The Kitchen
Oh boy, Hell’s Kitchen doesn’t even begin to describe how cooking is when you’re an adult.
It’s a juggling act between not wanting to eat Kraft dinner every night but also not being able to afford anything else. You have to channel your inner Guy Fieri when you put a bunch of random ingredients together that should never be combined to make dinner.
It’s So Beautiful I Could Cry
When you’re a kid, the holidays are full of positive energy, laughs, excitement and mystery. That’s what makes them so fun when you’re younger.
When you’re an adult, the holiday season is full of stress, stress, tears, and more stress. Presents from other people don’t make you excited, it’s the useless, irrelevant item you don’t need but purchased drunk at 2 am from Amazon that really hits the spot.
Sneaking Alcohol Into Random Places Becomes A Sport
One of the only ways to get through a work week is to sneak alcohol in the most secretive way. Your otherwise oblivious mom is a CIA agent when it comes to sneaking alcohol into random places like movie theatres and school plays.
You quickly find out when you transition into adulthood that constantly being tipsy and buzzed through mundane tasks makes life very bearable.
Adulting Brings Out A New Kind Of Laziness
It’s hard to hear high school students complain about being tired. You want to ring their neck and say, “JUST YOU WAIT” right into their face.
Adulting brings out laziness that is unmatched. Adults will get exhausted just thinking about all of the stuff they should be doing but won’t.
It’s About Time You Get A Tattoo You’ll Reget
Every adult HAS to have a tattoo that they regret. If you don’t look at a tat you got back when you were 18 and absolutely hate then are you really even an adult?
For example, this tattoo isn’t a mistake, it’s a stamp of approval from all of the tatted adults across the world. There are better Bon Jovi tattoos out there, that’s for sure.
It’s All About Resource Management
Being able to succeed as an adult means that you can use the resources around you effectively.
Since you probably can’t afford to buy “luxury items” like chip clips or ziplock bags, you have to make due with what you have. This person got very creative with their old flip phone and you’re welcome, this is going to be your newest DIY life hack.