These Hotel Fails Deserve Anything But A Five-Star Rating

It's hard to find the perfect place to stay when you get away for a long weekend. Life on the road can be tough, so finding a hotel that meets all your demands can be tricky. Even though all we really need is a bed to sleep on, there's a lot that goes into choosing where to spend the night.

These hotels, motels, and potential Holiday Inns probably didn't earn many repeat customers, but they did leave a mark on these vistors that will last a lifetime.

This Hotel Promised A "Gym"

motel gym in the closet
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit

It's great when a hotel has all sorts of gadgets and gizmos that you don't have at home, but if you're someone who likes to work out and is looking to get a pump in, it'd be nice if they actually delivered on their promise.

This place said they had a gym, so naturally, this guy got on all his gym gear and headed down. Unfortunately, all he was met with was this exercise bike next to the ice machine.

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Does This Bathroom Come With A Claw To Reach The TP?

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Hotels go to great lengths to give their patrons the perfect living experience, but one place that they always seem to fail is in the bathroom. Either the showerhead is too low, the sink overflows, or in this case, the TP is basically out in the living room.

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Seriously, as much as I don't think they do a test run of the room before finishing the installations, you would think someone took a seat on the toilet and thought 'wait a minute?'

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For all the nightmare scenarios that run through our head when we're on vacation, how often do we worry about getting caught in the shower? No, not like in a 'cheating on your spouse' scenario. Just actually getting trapped in the shower and having to call a repairman to free you?

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Well, this guy had to wait for three hours to get freed from the shower he somehow got trapped in. Hopefully, he got his room comped.

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When You Just Have To Settle Because You Haven't Slept In 37 Hours

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this motel is called the itll do motel
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Some people plan out their trips months in advance, and others really just hop in their car and hope for the best. That's where a bit of clever marketing comes into play. Not every hotel has to be a five-star resort, and not every motel has to have a pool that no one's seen actually get vacuumed.

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This motel knows that it caters to anyone who's just been on the road for too long and needs to lay down for a bit.

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This Seems Like A Fire Hazard

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You never really notice an exit sign until you really need it. If you were in an emergency and reached this fork in the road, what would you do? Do you retrace your steps? Do you run into the corner like this is Harry Potter and it's the entrance to platform 9 3/4?

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Whoever designed this seemed to have gotten just as confused as us when installing these signs and just threw it up there for us to figure out.

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Maybe They Didn't Pay Their Water Bill

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Running a business can be tough, and sometimes you have to make some budget cuts. That means saving a couple of bucks where ever you can. This hotel decided that the people staying in this room couldn't take scorching hot showers.

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Hopefully, this faucet runs hot already, because there seems to be far too much blue still for us to assume that this shower will ever get hot enough. Maybe this hotel is located in a hot climate where everyone is taking cold showers just to keep cool.

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Truer Words Were Never Spoken

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As much as we like to nitpick the quality of the hotel we're staying at, sometimes it pays to take a good long look in the mirror. We can be pretty terrible guests at times. Just because they forgot to put a mint on your pillow doesn't mean you can set the drapes on fire.

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This place understands that none of us are perfect, but they also realize that dogs absolutely are perfect. So if you're allergic to dogs, I feel really sorry for you, but you can't sleep here.

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A Sight No One Wants To See

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Some people just want to watch the world burn, but in a really helpful way. We all assume that we're hopping into a nice clean bed, but the truth is that not every hotel is created equally. Some hotels offer complimentary champagne, and others barely change their sheets.

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It's great that this unsung hero decided to go and prove a point, but this would be really unnerving to discover when you finally check into your hotel.

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This Is Why It's Tough To Travel With Kids

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Fewer things are more difficult than traveling with a child. They are incredibly needy, they have no sense of direction, and despite you spending a fortune on a trip to Disney, they're favorite thing is the hotel room you're sleeping in.

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What's also tough is just how creepy kids can be. This kid had never had a translucent bathroom door before, and when it fogged up after a shower they just had to go and terrify their parents.

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It's Like They Already Know You're Going To Steal The Salt And Pepper

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The continental breakfast is one of the true unsung heroes of the hotel experience. Very rarely do you get a gourmet meal, but if you had a long night and barely enough hours of sleep, it can be a lifesaver. A plain bagel, some soggy eggs, and instant coffee never tasted so sweet.

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Unfortunately, you tend to get what you paid for when we're talking about a free breakfast. Maybe too many people were taking a bunch of salt and pepper packets so they had to lock them up.

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A Room With A View

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You can learn a lot about a person by taking a trip with them. Whether it's a coworker, a long-time friend, or even your spouse, a trip to a new city and some quality alone time together can really help you see them in a different light.

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However, very few relationships need to go as far as 'I know what your bathroom routine looks like.' This hotel offers that unique twist on your relationship, no matter who you spend it with.

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Is This Too Close For Comfort?

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This hotel bathroom doesn't leave much to the imagination. Some hotels try to pack in as much as they can into a tiny space, but this one takes the cake. While it's easy to see just how close the toilet is to both the door and the shower, it's hard to trust that splashguard.

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This definitely isn't a bathroom built for two, and the see-through door means pricy out the window. Make sure to bring a set of drapes with you when you go to the bathroom.

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This Is What Happens When You Buy Discount Drapes

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It can be hard to decorate a bunch of rooms in a hotel while still making them feel unique. There must be a way to get thousands of curtains at a discount, but this is what you get when you buy things on a discount.

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Hopefully, these drapes are located in a nice fancy hotel and not in the hotel down a dark sketchy alley that has the buzzing 'no vacancy' sign.

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From The Shower To The Balcony In One Easy Step

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Hotels are constantly looking to make the most of all the space they have available. There's a reason your bedroom is also your living room, and why your kitchen is located in your bathroom. However, when you pay a little more for a room with a view and a balcony, you'd love to get a better view than this.

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Sure, stepping out and seeing Honolulu sounds like a great way to spend a morning, but having to sneak past your spouse who's in the middle of their morning shower must be a little disappointing.

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It's The Thought That Counts

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For all the people that are only staying at a hotel for a day at a time, we forget that there are guests who spend weeks, if not months at one hotel. There's only so many times that you can flip through the local television stations that play the news in a different language before you start looking for other ways to entertain yourself.

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This guest was hoping to stumble upon the hotel's library to find a nice book to pass the time, but instead was met with nothing but a library of lies.

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Close Enough

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Ever since we developed indoor plumbing, we've found ways to completely misuse that privilege. It was bad enough when had to deal with the one hot, one cold tap, but at least those taps actually hit the sink. This spout just floods your bathroom before you get a chance to flood it after a shower.

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This is a classic case of 'that's close enough' and 'it's technically installed' but how many people are going to have to book this room before something is done to fix it?

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Who Really Uses The Sketchy Motel Pool Anyway?

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If you've ever stayed at a sketchy motel, a word of advice is to avoid the pool. Seriously, you don't know where that water has been. Considering that people are coming and going every day, you're really tempting fate by jumping in that water that might not have seen a vacuum for a good year.

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Well, this motel got sick of people making a mess of their pool and just decided to fill it in. Now they can say they have a great lawn for pets to play on.

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These Curtains Are Doing An Impressive Job Keeping The Light Out

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Sleeping in a new room can be pretty exhausting. Sometimes the bed is too firm or the pillows are too squishy, and other times the drapes don't fully close and you get a beam of light blinding you at 5:30 in the morning. But if you pay for a room with a view, it would be nice to be able to actually see the view.

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It looks like this person slept in a little bit because their room stays pitch black 24 hours a day.

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What Came First, The Room Or The Railing?

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Not all hotel rooms are created equal. There's a reason a two-bedroom on the top floor costs more than a single on the ground floor. Most people will gladly take a corner room because there's usually a little bit of extra room and you don't have to worry about disrupting your neighbors.

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We can only assume that staying in this room comes at a substantial discount. If you look closely, you can see that this railing actually opens up so guests can access this room.

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Perfect For A DIY Breakfast

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As much as we might hate the continental breakfast, the last thing we want to do after getting three hours of sleep is to try and make our own breakfast. There's a reason why we fork over all that money to stay in a fancy hotel. If I wanted to make my own breakfast, I could have stayed at home.

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The worst part is that very few rooms offer anything close to a kitchen. That puts a lot of pressure on that toaster to deliver.

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This Is A Great Way To Avoid A Lawsuit

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While this might just be a simple message that was lost in translation, this is actually a great way to avoid a lawsuit. As much as we tell people to mind the gap or be cautious around a wet floor, maybe we should just assume they're going to fall on their face.

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This hotel knows who we really are, so instead of warning us of our impending doom, they instead just want us to fall as safely and gracefully as possible.

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So Happy For Tulation On This Day

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A nice romantic gesture can go a long way, but the toughest part is putting some of the execution in the hands of others. Whoever wanted to have 'congratulations' spelled out on their bed was met with a very different message.

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Hopefully, this didn't end in a fight over who exactly 'Tulation' is and why they were expecting them in their bed. The swan-shaped towel can only do so much damage control in this situation.

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This Is A Great Hotel To Play Hide And Seek In

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One of the things you just can't seem to look up when booking a hotel is how easy it is to find your hotel room. Is the first number of your room your floor number, or is it all just random? Which way is the sign pointing, and does your room fall inbetween those numbers?

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It's all very confusing, but at least you can actually see the numbers. Whoever decided to make the room numbers transparent clearly just wants to see the world burn.

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The Only Good Use For Those Long CVS Receipts

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Photo Credit: Reddit / k_v_n
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We've all seen someone grab a pack of gum and walk way with a CVS receipt that's longer than a Fruit by the Foot, but finally someone put that thing to good use.

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Sure, it's still a huge waste of paper, but it does a great job of blocking out the sun. There's truly nothing worse than laying down in a hotel bed and waking up with a ray of sunshine right in your face.

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Did They Lie Though?

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It has become so much easier to plan for a vacation now that we have the internet. Before, we had to just trust a travel advisor to book plane tickets and choose the right hotel for our budget. Now, with the click of a button, we can plan a whole weeklong trip.

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However, things aren't always what they seem to be on the internet. This hotel made it look like it offered an amazing rooftop pool, but it's really nothing more than a glorified bathtub.

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Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

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Art can be difficult to understand. There's a reason why almost anyone thinks they can become the next Picasso, but very few can actually get someone to buy their artwork. Whoever picked out this painting to outfit the bathroom definitely has a specific taste when it comes to artwork.

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There are a lot of hidden messages in this painting if you look close enough. Maybe it's a look into the future if the toilet ever gets backed up.

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They're Sending Mixed Messages Here

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Every good hotel knows how important it is to offer great customer service. For the most part, a hotel will do whatever they can to make sure you have everything you need and that your stay is as comfortable as possible. That apparently includes offering an ashtray even though there is a strict 'no smoking' protocol in every room.

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Is this a test? Do they check to see if any ash has ever made it into the tray, or are they just offering you something to steal at the end of your stay?

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I Struggle With Just One Faucet

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This is the kind of hotel that comes with an attendant who speaks only in riddles standing there ready to take your reservation. These old-timey faucets usually only offer hot or cold, but what is the third one supposed to be? And why is it gold?

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This looks like it would be the puzzle in a video game where you have to match the temperature to the faucet in order to progress to the next level.

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Nothing To See Here

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This is just another example of a hotel underdelivering when it comes to making their rooms look nice. This place actually went to the trouble of offering some counter space so you could actually believe there was a kitchen here, but cheaped out on the cabinet space below.

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So, instead of actually using that counter space to make yourself something to eat, instead, it's filled with all the groceries you bought and probably won't end up using because there's nowhere to make a sandwich.

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Is This Map To Scale?

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The best part of going on vacation is exploring new places and learning about different cultures. It's important to see the world in other people's eyes, but this hotel might have overestimated just how big China is.

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Yes, China is one of the biggest countries in the world, but based on this picture it looks like it takes up at least half of the entire globe. On the plus side, the different times across the world are a nice touch.

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Everything You Need Right At Your Bedside

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If you've ever woken up in the middle of the night in a strange new hotel room, it can be difficult to navigate your new surroundings. You're suddenly sleeping on the wrong side of the bed and your bedside table is nowhere to be found and all you want to do is find the bathroom.

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This place offers everything you need right by the side of your bed. Sure, this might not the cleanest room, but if you're traveling on a budget, what more do you really need?

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Pushes Cancel Button Furiously

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After a full night's rest, you're finally ready to check out of the hotel and move on with your life. The only thing left to do is pay for your parking. Well, one person found themselves starring at a hefty ticket and couldn't help but snap a picture.

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It turns out that the ticket was marked back to 1996. At that price, it looks like you could purchase the entire building rather than worry about the Honda Civic that's been parked there for a generation.

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This Seems More Like A Suggestion

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Anyone who has ever gone on vacation knows how important elevators are. Let's be honest — most of us who are traveling are constantly on the move, and the last thing we want to do is drag all of our luggage up a flight of stairs after a long day of hiking around.

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The fact that this hotel put up a permanent sign to discourage its tenants from using the elevator is a perfect example of why they probably aren't getting many repeat visitors.

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Would You Trust This Room?

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It's not uncommon to see a bit of wear and tear in a hotel, and it's encouraging when you see a hotel actually invest in making their building a better place to say. However, if you were assigned to room 635 and saw this, what would you do?

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It would be hard to trust walking in there. Also, I applaud the effort in being as accepting as possible to the blind, but how are they supposed to read the brail on a printed sheet of paper?

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It Be Like That Sometimes

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One of the classic warnings everyone has heard when going on vacation is to not drink the water. Well, if we walked into our hotel and saw this sign, all of our fears would be settled.

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There's no doubt that this hotel is doing everything in its power to make sure its patrons have delicious, life-saving water on hand, and it's comforting to know that it's safe to drink. But be careful, it's also hot.

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You Get What You Pay For

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Again, this is just another example of why you can't always trust the continental breakfast. Half the time you get the generic cereal choices, but this hotel took things a bit too far. There's cutting costs, and then there's this.

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While Coco Puffs are a staple of many kids morning routines, Coco Poops probably should have never seen the light of day. This is why you should always stick with black coffee and a bagel.

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Always Bring A Roll With You

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The difficult part for hotel designers is making everything one size fits all. They see all types of different people come through their doors. You have to make the rooms accommodating for everyone, from little kids to NBA players.

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That being said, when it comes to toilet paper, location is key. Stop putting the TP on the other side of the room and instead just have it right next to the toilet.

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There's No Room For Luggage Here

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If you're traveling heavy or with a friend, make sure to carve out some time in your travels to so you can make multiple trips on this elevator. Maybe you even have to send your luggage up separately and hope it knows what floor to get off on.

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This is seriously the smallest elevator we've ever seen, but maybe that encourages travelers to pack light and leave their extra 17 pairs of underwear at home.

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Why Don't They Have Splash Guards?

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Far too many hotels have this problem. Everything about the room seems fine, but once you hop in the shower, you end up finishing and walking out into a swamp. There's just no way to contain all that water and all of your clothes are now soaked.

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At this point, you might as well just accept your fate and just spend your vacation in your swimsuit the entire time. There's really no way to make this situation work.

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Giving 110 Percent

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As much as we've seen many of these hotels dropping the ball, this housekeeper is proving to us all that some people are willing to give it their all in the name of customer service.

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While many of us only worry about the bed we're sleeping in or the bath we're bathing in, the valet parking is just as important. This housekeeper is making sure that everyone gets a warm welcome when they show up here.