Gone are the days of churches being too serious and uptight for their own good. Yes, they still take praying and worshiping very seriously, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t find time to have a bit of fun. Nowadays it seems like every church adorns the signs in front of their chapels with some kind of snappy slogan.
We can all be religious and have a laugh at the same time. Keep reading for some real religious humor.
Let’s Go Back To The Beginning
They say history repeats itself, but if that’s really true, does that mean we’re going all the way back to the stone age? Are we going to meet the dinosaurs again? What about wooly mammoths?
Having a pet dinosaur does sound like a cool idea, though. We’re not talking anything crazy dangerous like a t-rex, but a brontosaurus would be pretty fun. Imagine riding around on a giant animal reptile, and never having to pay taxes because taxes haven’t been invented yet (or, they have been invented, but that part of history where they didn’t exist is going to come back around again).
Strawberry Or Chocolate?
We love a pun that involves the words Sunday and sundae. Fun fact, the word “sundae” is probably derived from “Sunday” because these sweet treats were originally served on Sundays. The only thing that would make Sundays at The Westside Baptist church better would be if they actually served ice cream sundaes during the pastor’s sermon.
Maybe after you’re done spending a Sunday morning at church, you could head over to Dairy Queen for a real sundae.
We See What You Did There, Redeemer Lutheran
How many songs have been written in this day an age about bodies being temples and beds being churches (we’re looking at you, Hozier). Look, this church knows that praying may no be the most, let’s say “gratifying” thing you could do on a Sunday morning. Redeemer Lutheran wants you to come to church anyway. Real church.
At least this place has a sense of humor. This is a pretty risqué church sign. We wouldn’t mind spending a few hours at a place like this.
Stinking Up The Pew
Has the state of the world been getting you down lately? Have you been finding it difficult to even turn on the news without getting depressed? That’s because life stinks now, and this church knows it. The only antidote to a stinky life? A warm wooden pew to park your behind on. The “pew” pun wasn’t lost on us for a minute.
Those pews have spent a lot of time near rear ends, so “pew” does seem like an apt name for them.
Primitive Technology At Work
Noah and his sons didn’t have much technological know-how when it came to building that giant ark and filling it with two of every animal species. Noah just followed the word of God and trusted that everything would work out in the end.
The Titanic must have been much smaller than the ark. Imagine how big a boat would have to be to fit two of every animal in the world? Still, the Titanic sunk and the ark stayed afloat.
St. Mathew’s Is Being Rather Shady
We think that St. Mathew’s might be insinuating that if you don’t go to church, you might go to hell and end up burning for all of eternity. Now that’s some shady stuff, St. Mathew’s. The next time you’re considering skipping out on church, think about rolling around trying to put out hellfire, only to realize that eternal flames literally burn for an eternity.
Maybe threatening people with eternal damnation isn’t the friendliest way to attract new members, but hey, it’s worked before.
Dogs Always See The Best In Us
Northgate Baptist Church understands that our dogs always see the best in us. According to our furry friends, we have no flaws. Dogs are always excited to see us when we come home. In your dog’s eyes, you are absolutely perfect.
We know that’s not true of course. We all have flaws and things to work on. If you go to church, though you can take steps towards bettering yourself so you can be the person your dog thinks you are.
Appealing To The Hipsters
Concordia Lutheran Church has been paying attention to the social climate. They know that hipsters are now a thing to be mocked. That’s why they invoked Hipster Jesus in a classic church sign joke.
Hipster Jesus has actually become a meme in recent years. Concordia Lutheran must be really up to date on internet culture. Next thing you know Lucky Luciano or Kermit the Frog sipping tea is going to make an appearance on the sign.
Place Your Faith Where It Belongs
Look, Santa Claus is jolly and he brings gifts, but ultimately, he’s a corporate character. He exists to make December the most profitable quarter of the year. Sorry to burst your Christmas bubble, but Santa is only red and white because of Coca Cola.
This church wants you to focus on the real miracle of Christmas. Don’t get caught up in all that commercialism if you can help it. Remember that Christmas is for celebrating the birth of the Christian prophet (not profit).
Satan Has A Sense Of Humor
It looks like this church is pulling some kind of reverse psychology trick on all of us. If Satan, the embodiment of pure evil, hates this church, that means it must be a pretty good church, right?
Satan hates anything that’s good ad righteous and pure, so this church is basically saying that it’s the antithesis to evil. It’s a clever sign, and it makes you stop and think for a minute. Nice one, Faith Baptist Church.
Blessed Be The Fruit
We love how the Riverside Baptist Church is denouncing religious nuts very publicly and cheekily on their church sign. Sadly, there are people who like to do some pretty crazy things in the name of the Lord. We know that religion is not about extremism or hurting others, but about love, acceptance, forgiveness, and faith.
The scripture is full of instances of God forgiving his people and instructing his people to forgive others as well.
Happy Wife, Happy Life
Look, your wife decided to marry you, so if you question her judgment, you’re questioning that decision too. Maybe marrying you was a bad choice. This sign reminds husbands everywhere to treat their wives with the utmost respect. It’s almost like a wife wrote this sign, just to make all the husbands out there a little bit more thoughtful about their words and actions.
Also, whoever wrote this sign spelled “judgment” wrong, so maybe they should be questioning their own judgment.
A Clever Play On Words (Or Letters)
We get it. When you take the letters “U” and “R” out of the word “church,” you are missing from church. It’s very clever. A sign like this is definitely going to attract attention. People walking or driving by are going to stop and figure out the pun. Maybe while they’re looking at the sign they’ll decide to go to church more often on Sundays.
These signs are a lot of fun, but their real mission is to get people off the streets and in the doors.
Screaming His Name Won’t Make The Cars Move Any Faster
According to the bible, we are not allowed to speak God’s name in vain. This means no shouting “oh my God” in an argument, or when you’re surprised, or when you’re stuck in traffic.
This church sign cleverly reminds us that God is ultimately in control of all of the rush hour traffic in the world. Maybe if we pay a little more attention to what He wants, he’ll open another lane so that the roads aren’t so congested. Just a thought.
Hip With The Kids
Do kids even say “cray cray” anymore? That seems like a very 2017 thing to do. We know 2017 wasn’t all that long ago, but culture moves on so quickly these days. We know a few people who are cray cray, and some of them even go to church.
This sign is definitely trying to appeal to the younger crows. Maybe they’ll see this desperate attempt to make Jesus relevant and go inside the church out of pity. Ok, that was a bit harsh, but Jesus is way older than 2017.
The Dark Arts Ain’t Nothing
Voldemort was so evil in the Harry Potter books and movies that most characters were too afraid to even speak his name. In this day and age, more young people are reading Harry Potter and less young people are reading the bible, so this comparison actually makes sense.
Some churches are very opposed to Harry Potter because they believe it promotes witchcraft, but the Broadview Road Church of Christ knows that a little magical fiction never hurt anybody.
Lure Them In With Warmth
They say that warmth radiates from within, and for this church, that is definitely true. The First United Methodist Church must be located in a cold climate because people are too cold to go outside and change the sign. It’s probably nice and warm in the church though.
If you’re feeling too cold outside, that might be God’s way of telling you to get yourself inside a church. He does control the weather, after all.
Caught In A Jam
This church sign is having fun with the word “jam” which can mean both a delicious fruit preserve and a tough situation. When we’re dealing with forbidden fruit, we can get into a whole bunch of tough situations.
The First Church of God looks like it’s probably a super fun place to worship. They don’t take themselves too seriously, which is key when dealing with matters of the soul. Laughter is good for the soul.
All Is Forgiven
The famous saying, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” is A-Okay with this church! Not only do those transgressions stay in Vegas, but they’re also completely forgiven as long as you go to church and confess your sins to god.
Look, people do crazy things in the city that never sleeps. Wait a minute— that’s New York City. I’m sure whatever you did in New York will be forgiven at this church as well.
Stop Praying For Rain
Rain is a wonderful thing— in moderation. Maybe all of those people praying for rain can start praying for it to rain in places that actually need rain. We hear that California could use a drop or two. England seems to be doing just fine in the rain department. The same goes for wherever the Lake George Bible Church is located.
If people keep praying for rain, we’re going to have another big flood on our hands.
A Different Kind Of Saving Grace
Wal-Mart is known for its super savings and low prices. Seriously, you can get anything from a bunch of bananas to new pillows to a TV there for a super great deal. But this isn’t a commercial for Wal Mart. This church knows that Wal Mart isn’t the only place where you can save. You can actually be saved if you attend church on Sundays.
The next time you find yourself in the home decor aisle of your local Wal Mart on a Sunday, think of where you should be instead.
Every Creature Is Precious (Maybe)
Do mosquitos bring anything good to this world. sure, they feed larger animals like frogs. frogs are pretty cute. But frogs can eat flies, and flies don’t spread diseases or cause people to develop large, angry, itchy bumps. What did we do to deserve mosquitos? Or maybe the better question is, why did Noah bring them on the ark in the first place?
Couldn’t Noah have left the mosquitos behind and brought a pair of unicorns with him on the boat instead?
An Apt Summary On A Summer’s Day
We’ve already seen a sign that was too cold, but this sign is just way too hot. That church must have some pretty great air conditioning. If that’s not a reason to go to church, I don’t know what is.
This church is keeping things nice and simple with the line, “sin bad, Jesus good. Details inside.” I mean, I think that about sums it up. What can we get inside that the sign hasn’t already told us?
Straight To The Source
Wifi is a wonderful invention, but The Newborn Community Church knows that there was an original wireless connection that existed way before wifi was ever on the scene. What better wireless connection is there than the one that goes directly from your heart to God’s ears?
It’s called prayer, people, and it doesn’t even require a modem. It’s totally free, accessible to everybody, and it never stops working right when you’re about to submit that final paper or that very important email.
They Make A Good Point
An unsharpened pencil literally has no point in that it’s dull and not at all pointed. The same goes for a life without God— it’s dull and directionless. We absolutely love this pun because, for so many people, it definitely rings true.
For many avid churchgoers, faith in God is what gives them the motivation to live through their everyday lives. Church lends purpose to an otherwise purposeless existence. If you’re not a churchgoer, maybe go just once to see what all the fuss is about.
Coke And The Book Of Life
People are becoming fascinated with personalized products. recently, Coca Cola put out a line of personalized bottles. It was a clever marketing strategy that proved to be very effective. people were more likely to buy a bottle of Coke that had their name on it.
Clearly, it’s much easier to get your name on a bottle of Coke than it is to get your name inscribed in the book of life by the almighty God himself.
Jesus Is The Ultimate Lifeguard
You know how people say that Jesus is our savior? Well, that’s not the only reason he’d make a great lifeguard. The guy can actually walk on water. What other qualifications could you possibly need?
The word “lifeguard” could have a double meaning in this case. Not only would Jesus be a great lifeguard in the literal sense, but people who believe in the power of God and Jesus will have their lives guarded by sheer faith!
Halloween Isn’t Very Heavenly
Most Churches actively oppose Halloween because it’s a pagan holiday. The truth is, many holidays were originally pagan traditions that were adapted to suit Christian needs. After the Roman empire fell and became Christian, the people of the empire formerly known as Rome were more willing to take on Christian belief systems if they could keep their beloved traditions.
That’s why we decorate Christmas trees on Christmas. It has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.
Prayer Has The Power
The Trinity Baptist Church expertly constructed this sentence that they’re proudly displaying on their church sign. They wrote, “When life gives you more than you can stand… kneel,” which is an awesome play on the word “stand” which in this case means both tolerate and being upright.
People kneel when they pray, and what better place to kneel and pray that in a church with a sense of humor? This church knows how to have fun with words.
Every Church Has A Few Nuts
There isn’t a church in existence in this great country— nay, in the world, that doesn’t have a few wackos in its congregation. When you get a whole bunch of people together, a few of them are pound to be a little bit cuckoo. That’s just the way the world works. It’s a fact that the Providence Presbyterian Church knows well.
They’re keeping it real on their church sign, and reminding everybody that Sunday worship starts at 8:30 AM sharp.
Go More Than Twice A Year
This church is definitely aware of the fact that most people only go to church on Christmas and at Easer— if at all. They used their sign to remind everybody that the church is still open on every other day of the year too.
Yes, it’s important to go to church on Christmas, but God is still waiting to hear from you on December 26th. It’s kind of a sassy move, but we’re not mad at it.
See Him More Than Once A Week
Divorce is a tough life shift that sadly, many couples face nowadays. Sometimes parents who are divorced are only able to see their children on weekends. If God is our father and we are his children, then we need to realize that we can see him on any day of the week.
Most people just go to church on Sundays, but the Plank Road Baptist Church knows God is waiting to connect with us on any given day at any time.
Led Zeppelin Was Onto Something
This sign is might just be the cleverest sign on our list so far. if you think about it, highways are full of traffic and they see a whole bunch of cars go from point A to point B all day every day. A stairway can hold a lot fewer people (unless you happen to know of a multilane stairway and some super fast stair climbers).
It’s also a lot easier to take a highway than it is to take the stairs.
Don’t Text And Drive
Texting while driving is incredibly dangerous. Way too many people have lost their lives because they were too busy paying attention to their phone when they should have been paying attention to the road. This church sign is doing a great public service by reminding people of the dangers of texting and driving.
You may love Jesus, but you don’t want to meet him too early because you were doing something stupid and dangerous. Honking is totally fine, though.
Noah Must Have Really Trusted The Lord
When God says to build an ark and get on it while the whole world floods, that’s one thing. When God says, build an ark, get on it while the whole world floods, and take a pair of termites with you, that’s a whole different game. Noah must have really trusted in God to go along with that plan.
Luckily, everything worked out, but if those termites got hungry, things could have gotten very bad very quickly.
Well, You Asked For A Sign
People turn to God in times of desperation and they often ask God to provide them with some sort of sign. They just want to know that the man upstairs is listening. Well, if you’ve been asking for a sign, here it is, both literally and figuratively.
The Walker’s Chapel United Methodist Church gave you an actual sign with a sign from God written right on it, so you have no excuse to skip out on church now.
Jesus Is Going To Find You
This sign outside the Friendship Church of Christ is playful and inviting. It lets people know that building a relationship with Christ is always possible, and that church can be as fun as a childhood game if you’re open to it.
Jesus is going to come for you whether you’re “ready or not,” so you may as well get ready for his arrival and for his influence in your life. You’re not going to win this game of hide and seek unless you’re the seeker.
It’s Still Pretty Hot Though
The DaySpring Assembly of God warns that the summer is nothing compared to the hellish temperatures of the underworld. People like to complain about the heat, but they should keep in kind that it could always get much, much worse.
This church is encouraging people to stop complaining about the weather. Enjoy the heat while it lasts, people. Pretty soon winter is going to be here and we’re all going to be shivering in our boots.
No Time Like The Present
The Providence Baptist Church knows that too many people wait until it’s too late to go to church. Don’t let a hearse bring you to church for the first time. Step in and say hello while you still can.
Church can be a great place to meet new friends, interact with likeminded people, and build a lasting sense of community. It’s not just a place of worship, it can also be a place you can call home.
Move Or Get Baptised
Look, if you’re not going to go to church, at least stay away from those very valuable church parking spots. There are some ungodly rebels who will park in a church parking lot and then walk over to the pizza joint across the street. Don’t be one of those people.
We love that this church has a sense of humor about the whole thing, though. Do you think they every actually baptized any trespassers?